Why Do We Do It?
Why is it that we love delving into people’s lives, especially us women? Instead of building each other up, we tear each other down. I think it is safe to say that gossip and judgment is a heart issue that stems from insecurities. We talk about others to feel better about ourselves because we may envy others. We might also believe that we aren’t necessarily committing the sins that others are committing, so we speak about them. But this needs to stop, gossiping is not a fruit of the spirit but a detriment to sisterhood. We need to stop the gossip!
Convicting With Love
Now I am not saying that you should not point out wrongdoings to your loved ones so that they can fix themselves. I am also not saying that you should not convict those around you that claim to be living for Christ if you see them doing otherwise. Proverbs 24:24-25 states that “ whoever says to the guilty, “ you are innocent”- people will curse him and nations denounce him. But it will go well with those who convict the guilty, and rich blessings will come upon them.” There is nothing wrong with convicting your friends if you are coming from a place of love. But how many of you are coming from a place of love when you speak badly about others?
Conviction vs. Gossip
There is a very big difference between talking about someone in order to build them up and talking about someone in order to tear them down. For one, if you are talking about a friend to lift them up, they are often times in the conversation.
If the person in question is not in the conversation, then you are coming up with ways on how to help that said person improve. If you are spending your time talking about all the negative aspects of a person and not coming up with solutions to help them, than you are destructing not constructing. Think about it this way, if your aren’t using your tongue for construction, you are not using it or you are using it for destruction. Which one will you choose?
Think about it this way, if your aren’t using your tongue for construction, you are not using it or you are using it for destruction. Which one will you choose?
The bible tells us to first take the plank out of our own eyes. (Matthew 7:5). When we gossip and judge, we are essentially changing our focus on the specs of others rather then those in our own lives. I find myself gossiping and judging when I think that my own righteousness comes from my own power and not that of God. You are not the one that is making you good, it is the God inside of you. So pray for your friend, pray that she/he will allow God to enter their life so that they also may live righteously .Gossip and judgment is an issue of the heart that we must let God handle. Convict people through love but never out of your own heart issues.
If we are to call ourselves righteous, if we are to live holy lives then let us live by the standards of God and not that of the world. Psalms 34:13 says to “ keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.” God doesn’t like ugly, He doesn’t like judgment. Our mouths should be used to enhance the kingdom of God and not to defame God’s children. Next time you have the urge to gossip, think of the person you are talking about as a child of God. No matter how sinful that person might be, God loves them and cares about them so you have NO right to bash them.
I want to challenge you this week to have Christ centered conversations. If you see that a lot of your conversations are negative and that you are adding fuel to the fire, pray. Ask God to clean your heart so that your tongue may be used for His glory and His glory only.